For the moments I Loose Sight.

The world comes at me from all directions. It tells me to forsake Christ and pursue instead pleasure, power and self glory. That my worth is only in how much money I make, who I can get to sleep with me and who I can get to worship me. And sometimes, I buy into the lie and begrudgingly follow Christ.

I suppose thats better than not following Christ at all. I guess Christ would rather I follow Him reluctantly than to forsake Him completely. I have as of late been following Him begrudgingly. I've looked at the world and wondered "why do they get to have all the fun?" but then, everything becomes clear again.

Thank you Jesus for these moments of revelation. Please, be thou my vision.!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8AdgQI1aQA

The Poor

three years ago I made a decision.

I decided I wanted to join some friends and move into one of the poorest black neighborhoods in Miami. It was something my friends were calling incarnational ministry. meaning... in the same way as God became man (incarnation) to minister (ministry) to us... so we should live among those whom we want to minister to. I thought it was a novel idea, and heck... Jesus seems to be a big fan of the poor.

Currently, I work at a bank in the drive through. as such, I have a lovely view of the parkinglot all day long. for that past couple of weeks there has been a homeless man sleeping in the corner of the parkinglot. He just stays under some boxes. I know he's alive because he gets up from time to time, but doesn't really do much. then goes back to the boxes.

As a Christian, I base my morality and my action on what the Bible says. As such, I saw the guy and the verse from Matthew 25 popped into my head. It goes something like this: Some people meet Jesus in heaven and he tells them they cant get in. they ask "why cant we get in?" and he replies "when I was hungry you did not feed me, when I was thirsty you did not give me to drink." He goes on to explain that "whatever you do for the least of these, you did for me."

so I'm staring at this homeless guy for ten hours a day and I think... "watch that be Jesus and it comes back to bite me in the butt!" so I thought I'd get him some mcdonalds today. well... I ended up not getting him McDonalds cuz I was late and there was a line. And I'm there feeling all guilty because I'm letting Jesus starve, when sucker sits up and starts smoking a blunt! Then I thought... maybe He's not Jesus!

here's the thing though. I've kinda gotten jaded, and its not just because of this homeless guy... but because of all the poor and homeless I've met throughout the years.

When I read the things Jesus says about the poor, I wonder if He meant that to mean the poor in America or the poor of His time? See these are two totally different things.

Back in Jesus' time poverty was more of an institution you couldn't get out of than an actual consequence of the life you lived. In those days, you were poor probably because you were considered a sinner, had leprosy or maybe were born out of wedlock. perhaps you were a widow and could not work (because women weren't allowed to work) or you were excessively taxed by the roman government. Or lets face it... maybe you were just born poor and therefore schools and society weren't open to you.

America is a totally different story though. Though poverty exists, it seems more like a consequence of the decisions you make rather than a set of cards life dealt you. One good heroin addiction and you're liable to be sleeping by a dumpster come veterans day! I mean really.... I see poverty all around me and I notice, its people who made the conscious choice not to go to school, or someone who got into a bad drug habit.

Oh but some people cant go to school! some might argue.

well... I argue back.

I for example, have absolutely no financial aid. My family doesn't pay for my schooling and you know what... I actually still go to school. Sure its tougher, sure I take longer... but I'm still going. And even so... you at least graduate from high school, that can get you a decent job.

I see no reason for there to be homeless in America. If anything, there are shelters... but the homeless dont want to avail themselves of it.

another argument is that homelessness can be as a result of mental illness. again, there are mental hospitals which they can go to for treatment.

if its a drug addiction, there are state funded rehab facilities.

there is just no good reason to be homeless! I dont understand.

Still formulating my thoughts

Just read this book.

Amazing.

It has redefined my standards.

I am re-reading it...

I have never read a book twice.

more to come...

The Christmas Sweater

Just finished reading the Christmas Sweater.

I am thoroughly impressed. I won't hide the fact that I am a big fan of conservative politics and thereby also Glenn Beck. However, I will admit that for about a year I had seen the book on shelves and turned it down really believing Beck should stick to politics. I didn't want to read some sappy story about a Christmas sweater... I figured people are usually known for what they're best at. Beck is known for being a political watchdog, not a novelist.

I gave the book a try and I was impressed. Think "Its a wonderful life" or "Five people you meet in heaven" If Frank Capra were making movies today, he'd make this into one. It leaves a warm place in your heart. Even the acknowledgements in the back warmed me. Five stars all the way... because this is a book of consequence. Very inspirational.

Thoughts on Precious

I just got home from watching precious. From what I saw in the trailers it seemed like it was going to be a great movie. In fact, it was perhaps one of the most highly anticipated movies of the year for me. I am a sucker for a dramatic movie. I'm not just talking star crossed lovers torn apart by fate (though that will hold me over just fine.) I'm talking about gut wrenching, rip your heart right out of your chest, stomp on it and make you cry type of drama. I'm talking the greats, Shindlers List, Hotel Rwanda and American History X.

Happy movies just dont do it for me. I can laugh, but I easily forget those movies. I was raised in such a fake culture, where everyone wears a smile as default... that happy almost doesn't feel real to me sometimes. I like drama that will shake me from the shallowness of everyday life and make me feel alive. I do prefer a cathartic cry rather than a good laugh.

Though I do like a good tragedy, I must say that Precious was a major fail in my book. It has to be realistic or at least relatable on some level. Otherwise I will disconnect. I can understand genocide because I've studied it in school. I can understand racism because to a certain extent, I've experienced it. Precious was so overdone, I disconnected and just wanted the movie to end.

At first, it seems right up my ally. Clarice Precious Jones is a 16 year old morbidly obese black girl living in a ghetto. I believe its Harlem, I forget. She is falling through the cracks of the educational system. Shes 16 and still in middle school whats worse is that shes pregnant with her second child and in a physically abusive home where her mother routinely tried to beat her over the head with pots and pans and daily bombards her with messages that shes worthless. This drew me in, and I would be raving about this movie if thats where it stayed... however as the story kept unfolding, I began to disconnect.

We come to find that Precious' first child was actually born with downs syndrome. Her father is sexually abusing her and is the man who has impregnated her twice now. She has been suffering though sexual abuse since the age of three by her father. When her mother sees precious' new child, she holds him and throws him on the floor and proceeds to beat precious and even throw a TV at her head to kill her. Thankfully Precious escapes. She is illiterate and has little prospects for a future, any hopes she may have had are dashed when her mother comes to visit her and informs her that her father (who has been abusing her) has died........of AIDS. Precious gets tested and finds out she has AIDS as well.

imagine two hours of this. where every fifteen minutes another bomb is dropped. There was no resolution in the movie save her walking away from her mother. Life sucks for her and there is no way out. I don't need a happy ending... but I do need an ending. Shindler fled penniless as a war criminal, the war ended in Hotel Rwanda, and Derek's brother is shot and killed after he recants white supremacy. I don't need a happy ending, but I need an ending none the less. There was simply too much drama in Precious to where I could no longer relate and wondered "what's next? is she going to be bitten by a rabid dog too?"

don't waste your money.

I snuck into new moon afterwards hoping to get a decent movie. It was mediocre at best, but hey I didn't expect oscars from them, its a tween novel. I was much more disappointed by Precious.

Does this make me an enemy of God?

I was watching some of the weekend news programs when I was made aware of a convention being held in Copenhagen this December which would seemingly instill a one world governing body that would be in charge of redistributing wealth. In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I am an avowed classical liberal... this usually translates to Republican. I believe in a small government and a free market society with little oversight other than to protect the interests of its constituents. I was asked recently what the difference between Democrats and Republicans are. I came to the conclusion that Democrats believe Government is the answer to our problems, while Republicans believe Government is the problem. But, I'll let that end here because this post wasn't about political ideology.

In any case, I have been seeing transnationalism growing as of the past couple of years. I have been hearing rhetoric from our government about being "citizens of the world" and that we should submit to a global community rather than our own self interests. I see this inevitably leading to a one world government. I'll make no bones about it... I am a Christian as well if you haven't been able to tell from my previous posts. According to Christian prophecies, the world is indeed headed toward a one world government and will be headed up by a dictator who will wage war on all those who are disloyal to him and particularly Christians who refuse to worship him. This may seem far fetched, but its becoming more a reality every day.

That being said, I find myself having a little crisis of faith.

Being that I am such a classical liberal and believe in small government. Being that I take every opportunity to speak out against the ever growing government and that I consistently vote for smaller government at every election... does this make me an enemy of God? I whole heartedly do not want to see the events of Revelation transpire in my lifetime. It is apparent that God is working to that end, while I am fighting tooth and nail to avoid it. Should I just stand aside and be led into tribulation and possibly martyrdom? Should I let people be killed in the future one world government simply because I read that's what God's will is? or should I work against it?

I am trying to not take this so serious for my own sanity. But I am interested in any comments?

Enjoying My Time Off

I can finally enjoy my unemployment.

I've got a job and will begin working on November 16th. So until then, I'm posing as a starving artist. Im writing in my Pjs and reading over a cup of tea.

(when I'm not watching Fox News Channel and CMT)